Epiphany

I could never fall for you 

not because I didn’t want to 

not because I didn’t want you 

I acknowledged the admiration you had for me 

I paid attention to the ways 

you tried to get mine 

it didn’t go unnoticed 

we went out and,

you told your story 

you opened up for me

became emotionally available for me 

you didn’t know but,

that was a sign i could trust you 

the first time I felt 

it was more than lust between us 

but ,

it wasn’t

 because you were attracted to the surface 

it was the after hours for you 

it was the fact that I didn’t look like what I had been through 

the idea of me was more appealing 

the idea was easier to accept 

to be pretty and silent

to be there when you had time 

you didn’t care to learn me 

I worked too hard to heal

that wasn’t enough for me 

was your “I love you” real?

I think, was it all just temporary?

 maybe there’s no hard feelings 

had to fall back but, 

hope you still check in 

like you used to 

hope you find something deeper 

hope you find someone 

who learns to love you 

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