Sabotage

if I saw you again i’d say…

 you know there’s only one of you and me

we resisted to keep the peace. i get it 

but did our differences have you looking at me differently?

i would ask…

was it my lack of empathy, 

was I too demanding?

did I not say enough…about how our first shared meal felt like something I manifested.

i’m not good at vulnerability 

you said it yourself, yet we connected

i’d remind you that..

we exchanged music, discovered new love languages

shared more than just opinions & late evenings

separate time zones but you’d make time

maybe you put your all in and I held back

maybe I overreacted  

or am I just doing it again..

making something out of nothing 

hoping, wishing, & expecting 

Instead of goin through the motions 

being accepting of the outcome 

easier remembered than done 

just another fragment of my past I can’t replace 

another piece of the moments I reflect on if I gave up too easily 

did I destroy this with overthinking 

did I destroy this trying to fill a void that was never your responsibility 

hoping, wishing & expecting 

instead of goin through the motions 

I’d say..

we confessed how we handled 

wasn’t up to our human standard 

if I was more gentle , more understanding 

if you were less prideful..

you know Im a handful 

but 

not typical like the girls you meet 

there’s only one of you and me 

i hope you agree….

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