Do you ever just look for a sign ?

Tasting your tears & feeling the sweat from your overheated body is not enough 

Reassurance from loved ones is not enough 

In crowds I’m subdued, in silence I’m overwhelmed 

My back is aching and aching from staring at the ceiling 

& never rising unless It’s to release the toxins from my vices 

Those things kept me warm when reality stripped me from facade

Being the strong friend requires you imitate whatever front you put on 

The Days no longer mattered 

Do you ever just look for a sign?

Calling out for my abuela like “how’d you hold it all together” 

She cried my child you just keep pushing 

& Thank god when the day comes where you smile when no one is looking…

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